Kathy's Birthday

Today would have been Kathy's 36th birthday. It's been hard to not feel kind of down today. I miss my best friend who has been in New York for a week. She'll be home tomorrow. I'm not guaranteed tomorrow, so I'm needing today to look brighter.
God, please lift my spirits.
Amen

what's up

Okay, so I can now walk at least 13 miles in one day. Not bad. But not yet 20. I think I could actually do it but I have to find the time to do it. So I am well on my way to that goal. And I have two more months to train. A fundraising plan came to me on my last lap in my 13 mile treck, so I will be getting that under way in the next couple of days.

This friday I start my volunteer time at the shelter. I am so excited! It seemed like the process to get started kept meeting with roadblocks, but we are finally set up and we will go this week. YEA!!!

My quest to get Willie a car is not going so well.

Today I got an email that a little boy from our Tulsa campus drowned on Sunday. I have been praying all day that God would give us a new Testiment miracle and raise that little boy up. I am believing God no matter what. I want so badly to just go and hold his mommy, and I don't even know them, and I live two hours away. God is bigger than we can imagine, and He has a plan to reveal His Glory, we just dont know what that is right now.
My four year old drew a "ribbon" today during his homeschool craft time. Above it he "wrote" , "This ribbon is to remember Kathy. She died and is in Heaven with God." He made it for because he loves me. That is what he told me. What a precious gift he is!
I have all kinds of thoughts and emotions swirling in me today.

It's working!

We are in day two of being a parent and not just a friend. It is going well. We struggled a few moments yesterday, but overall I think my kiddo likes that Mommy is in charge (even if he would never admit it!) Since I have had to be strict in the discipline, I have also had the most fun at the fun mommy moments. Today we built castles out of cardboard boxes and swords out of paper and shields out of smaller boxes. We painted and told stories. I have also had some quiet moments to myself because when I am with the kids I am all there and not distracted. So when I have wanted a few minutes to read they let me because they know when it is their turn I will be all theirs. I know this is not new information to anyone who has been parenting for as long as I have, but I finally figured it out. Amazing!!! :)
I know I will still have moments that aren't fun, but if I stay consistant, I know I will reap my reward. A wonderful man who respects God and respects women (starting with his mom first!)

I am a parent not a best friend!

I am a parent not a best friend, I am a parent not a best friend. I was lovingly reminded that tonight by a dear friend, and also told that I need to always refer to Russ. Wise words. Now I just have to remember them. I want my children to repect me and God, but I am trying too hard to be a friend. I am a parent not a best friend I am a parent not a best friend. Thank you God for women who share the wisdom that only comes with years and experience!

blurb

I am signed up and ready to go, now I just have to raise the money. It will come. Tonight will be my fifth night to train. A and I did 5 miles last night in just over 1 and 1/2 hours. Not bad, since we just started training. I'm a little tired today, but keep pushing on.

30 days to live

So today started the new sermon series at church, "30 days to live." It was hard to watch, and I was on my own because Russell was watching Tiger Woods in Tulsa. At the same time it was confirmation that I am doing what I should be doing. I am leaving a written legacy (though I need to catch up on scrapbooking.) I am concentrating my time on family and friends and my new passion for homeless people. And I have made a goal for two things relating to Kathy. I am going to get her book written, and my sister-in-law and I are going to do the 3 Day Susan G. Komen walk. 60 miles in 3 days. We started training last night. I will walk about 5 miles tonight, but I am also going to take time to sit and watch the stars with my wonderful husband. The annual meteor shower is tonight and it is the new moon, so it should be spectacular to watch.
I'm gonna go so I can sign up for the 3 Day.
Peace and a poptart!

Kathy's blog

I just finished copying Kathy's blogs into a word document. I am going to use them to write her book for her. I will now have to print and edit (for content) and then chase like mad after any more writing that she did. It is sad and a little odd to be reading what she wrote about day to day stuff now that she is gone. I wish I had known that she had the blog while she was alive. I would have commented and kept up. I would have been able to tell her that I knew she was grandpa's favorite, but never envied her. I knew grandpa loved me too and he saved a special squeal for me. As it is, I can't tell either one of them that I love them anymore because they are both fishing up in heaven without me. Well, I never was much of a fisherman, but I sure look forward to joining them when my time comes.
Ah well, life moves on here. Still fundraising for Willie to get him a car so he can get to and from his new job. I think that after we get Willie on his feet I may have another calling. While putting together this book for Kathy is a first step, I know that more can be done for those touched by cancer. Is that my place to step out to next? I dont know yet.