One year

Today is July 17th.

What a journey this year has been. A year that God has really revealed Himself to me. He gave me opportunities to turn out and serve others instead of turning in and sitting in sadness. Don't get me wrong. Feeling the loss of Kathy is not a bad thing. Dwelling on it for hours on end is.

I love serving at the mission. I feel a breath of life every time I go down there. Which is really kinda weird because so many there are just so lost. But I feel God moving and stirring up something. I'm reaching out instead of sleeping in. I love it!

I also love the steps (and quite a few there are too!) that I am taking to fight cancer. I have learned a lot about how my body works and the more I know the more I can tell others.

I loved doing the Beth Moore study on Daniel. I learned so much about God and it was refreshing to learn about Him and not necessarily have it be about me in any way. I am a part of the plan, I am not the plan!

I love that my sweet sisters-in-love both went out of there way to tell me that they were praying for me today. Amy with the flowers and Taunda with the card. I could not ask for better sisters. God has blessed me with so much!

Sometimes I wonder why some lives get cut off so short while others keep on trekking on with little discomfort. I wonder why beautiful women like Kathy and Christie, who both love God so much, don't get to live very long. What is the point of that? But I don't feel angry. Just confused sometimes. I know that God is bigger than my heart, so He knows what he is doing. I just wonder about it, that's all.

Mostly today I am so incredibly grateful for my family. We live in God's peace and I feel it every day. That is not to say that it is always peaceful and quiet around here, but there is just a sense of knowing that I am not in charge. My little mistakes are not going to ruin everything. God has a plan for my family's life and I just need to let the Spirit of my Mighty God live in me and through me every day and things will be alright. Better than alright.

So as I sit here today being lifted up in prayer by my family and friends, I am so glad that this is the journey that God has brought me on. It is not my way, nor my will, but it is THE way. The only way, I am guessing, that could have brought me so close to God and to so many people that I never would have encountered if not for that week one year ago. My life has been touched by homeless people, breast cancer survivors, those who have now lost their lives to cancer, my friends and my family in a way that I never thought possible. God has protected my heart all along the way. Moments when I felt intense loss, He had something prepared for me to show me His light on the other end. My God is amazing and I could not live life to the fullest without Him.

So as I sit here one year to the day since Kathy made her journey home, I may have some moments of tears, but it is not overwhelming. What I am overwhelmed with is the love of friends and family. I don't just know you are praying me through this moment, I can feel it!