Too much fun!

The Best trip I have ever taken! Only made so much fun because of my very own bored gargoyle!


Notre Dame was amazing...it had better be after the 370 stair steps to the top.







What better way to turn 30 and spend your anniversary than in Paris with the best man in the world?












I must go to bed now, I am having too much fun!

Move over Beth Moore

So this is my new screen saver. A great reminder of what God taught me on the roadtrip to San Antonio. This group of women were used as vessels to change my life. Move over Beth Moore, here come the Edmond girls! (just a side note...Beth Moore was awesome and taught some amazing truths!)

love my babes!

These are my babies! Well, they aren't really babies anymore, but I guess they always will be to me. Julia (2), Draden (5 and 1/2..that half is important by the way), and Caleb (4). They are my mess and I love them for it! God is using them everyday to teach me things I never thought I would even want to know. But mostly, I live for the moments when Draden says, "Mom I love this, can we please do more home school?" Or when they laugh so hard they snort, or when they crawl up into the big blue chair just to rock with me. Not so much when they are my alarm clock at 7:15 with a not so pleasant..."No! It's mine!" But all the same. They are such a magnificent blessing, and I guess my greatest fear is that I will do them wrong. I'm told I can't, but for a girl who generally doesn't worry, if I had to admit my greatest fear, that would be it. One of the many things that God is using these wonderful children for. Teaching me to trust to my very core. Oh, how I love them!

Bon Jovi

Going back a bit....This is the sisters, all gussied up for Jon (Bon Jovi that is) We had a blast! We went and saw him when he came to OKC on April 15. Yep, just going back in time. I like the picture thing. I think I will back up again....very soon!

The blanks in my life

I apparently am not any good at keeping a blog that is updated. Maybe it is because nobody ever reads it. I should be more faithful.
So as soon as I figure out the finer things of blogging (such as how to post pictures and stuff) I will make it public and I will tell of the great things that have happened in my world. Can I pre-date my stuff? Because I could go back a ways and fill in the blanks. I don't want to have blanks in my life! ARRRGGGG!!!!!

One year

Today is July 17th.

What a journey this year has been. A year that God has really revealed Himself to me. He gave me opportunities to turn out and serve others instead of turning in and sitting in sadness. Don't get me wrong. Feeling the loss of Kathy is not a bad thing. Dwelling on it for hours on end is.

I love serving at the mission. I feel a breath of life every time I go down there. Which is really kinda weird because so many there are just so lost. But I feel God moving and stirring up something. I'm reaching out instead of sleeping in. I love it!

I also love the steps (and quite a few there are too!) that I am taking to fight cancer. I have learned a lot about how my body works and the more I know the more I can tell others.

I loved doing the Beth Moore study on Daniel. I learned so much about God and it was refreshing to learn about Him and not necessarily have it be about me in any way. I am a part of the plan, I am not the plan!

I love that my sweet sisters-in-love both went out of there way to tell me that they were praying for me today. Amy with the flowers and Taunda with the card. I could not ask for better sisters. God has blessed me with so much!

Sometimes I wonder why some lives get cut off so short while others keep on trekking on with little discomfort. I wonder why beautiful women like Kathy and Christie, who both love God so much, don't get to live very long. What is the point of that? But I don't feel angry. Just confused sometimes. I know that God is bigger than my heart, so He knows what he is doing. I just wonder about it, that's all.

Mostly today I am so incredibly grateful for my family. We live in God's peace and I feel it every day. That is not to say that it is always peaceful and quiet around here, but there is just a sense of knowing that I am not in charge. My little mistakes are not going to ruin everything. God has a plan for my family's life and I just need to let the Spirit of my Mighty God live in me and through me every day and things will be alright. Better than alright.

So as I sit here today being lifted up in prayer by my family and friends, I am so glad that this is the journey that God has brought me on. It is not my way, nor my will, but it is THE way. The only way, I am guessing, that could have brought me so close to God and to so many people that I never would have encountered if not for that week one year ago. My life has been touched by homeless people, breast cancer survivors, those who have now lost their lives to cancer, my friends and my family in a way that I never thought possible. God has protected my heart all along the way. Moments when I felt intense loss, He had something prepared for me to show me His light on the other end. My God is amazing and I could not live life to the fullest without Him.

So as I sit here one year to the day since Kathy made her journey home, I may have some moments of tears, but it is not overwhelming. What I am overwhelmed with is the love of friends and family. I don't just know you are praying me through this moment, I can feel it!

I am Blessed!

I have such an amazing community. Russell has been in Las Vegas on a business trip (I'll let you know the details on that when I get them. It has sounded rough I'll tell you!). While he has been gone I have had someone from my Life Group here every night. Friday night Debra came and kept me company after the kids went to bed. Last night it was Mindi. Tonight Chance, Debra and their kiddos brought us dinner and Brian and Mindi were here as well. Brian did our yard this afternoon. I wanted to surprise Russell and Brian was great for doing it at the last minute. So I had great fellowship this afternoon.

This morning at church I had the opportunity to begin to understand a little more about God. See, we have this system where the boys play in the cave-like tunnel while I drop off Julia. Then I drop off Caleb and then Draden. Well today after dropping Julia off in her classroom, I turned around and Caleb was gone! GONE!!!!! First I went to his class to see if he just wandered over there, but he hadn't. He is a creature of habit and wouldn't just wander away at church. In a strange place, say the mall or something, sure. But at church we have a routine and he doesn't stray from routine. He also wouldn't go with a stranger without making a huge scene. But anything can happen and I started to panic. I quickly took Draden to his class so I didn't risk losing him. Then Chance left his post at the 5 year old room and started helping with the search. By this time I was crying and the sheriff on duty in the church was helping too. We did the quick rundown on what he was wearing while I was tearing around the kids area shouting for him. Finally we went back to the tunnel area and the sheriff told me to stay there and they would look. As a final resort (since I wasn't supposed to go anywhere) I checked the three year old room that he only spends Wednesday nights in. There he was sitting at the table coloring a picture! He didn't even know that he was missing. Someone had put him in the room. I don't know who and I don't want to know. I just want to understand what God was trying to teach me. Maybe it is...Even when I think God is missing from where I think He is supposed to be showing Himself...He is right where He is supposed to be. My last resort was the most obvious place. God is never missing, not even for a moment. He is at peace (or more accurately He is Peace) and is never frantic even when we are.

There are so many ways to apply this to my life and cannot even begin to describe them. But now I just have to refer to this day whenever I feel like God is missing. He is not missing. He will never be missing.

And Thank you God for taking care of my baby and not even letting him be in a situation where he could have felt lost. Help me keep focused on you so that I don't feel lost either.